Same Old Crap, Different Bowl.
Written: Dec 01 '01 (Updated Dec 03 '01)
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Product Rating:
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Pros: Most powerful console by far.
Cons: Ugliest console by far, no software futures, platform games in a box.
The Bottom Line: PC Clone in a box with a splat of snot, accompanied by a lineup of games with the wit of a pizza, a beer and plenty of shouting.
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| labyrinth's Full Review: Microsoft Xbox Console |
There lies a bowl of warm crap your dog just pooped. You think the bowl is not impressive looking enough, so you changed to a very nice, ivory bowl carved out by hands of a master. So there you have it, an ivory bowl with a pile of warm crap. The result? Yes, it is still crap, wrapped with great packaging.
And there we have Xbox, a powerful engine developed by the biggest cashbox in the world. Promising to the most powerful console on the market (ivory bowl), that's going to "revolutionize" the gaming industry. The result?
A PC clone hidden in the ugliest plastic casing ever since Shawn Kemp and Missy Elliot decide to enter a beauty contest, with a line-up of games that either plays better on a PC, or requires the wit of a pizza, a can of beer and plenty of barbarian shouting.
In appearance, Xbox looks like a huge square of ugly case with a top that looks like someone just sneezed upon it. The controller feels alright, although a bit awkward for me. And the Xbox logo is just, plain, ugly. It's splat of snot with a miserable cross on it.
Second of all, Xbox is a PC rip-off in a box. It's basically a miniature collection of PC hardwares packed in that ugly black casing (don't get me wrong, I have nothing against a PC clone). And that leads to what I am going to talk about next, the games:
The line-up of Xbox games is nothing you've not seen yet. Besides Halo and Dead Or Alive 3, everything else is still the same old uninteresting titles you've seen on PSX, Dreamcast and N64. And from the same software companies, I can hardly expect those game will add up any more depth at all, if there is any. And man, I don't need to play Shrek to tell you that it stinks. I have yet to play a good NASCAR game so far, in any platform, and I don't expect to start now. EASports...has not impressed me in any single game. And unfortunately, that is all the sport games you will get on the Xbox, sorry.
The reason for the lack of good games now, and the future, is the lack of interests in Japanese game developers. Let's face it, Japanese makes good, and deep games. Majority of Japanese games is likely to hook you up for weeks, months of enjoyment. In the contrary, American game developers go for the first impression, that's about it. You put the game in, turn on your machine and "Ooos" and "ahhhs" for a min, and that's it. Majority of American games are obsolete, lack of depth and only requires the wit of of a pizza, a beer and plenty of shouting (crap, as mentioned before). However, USA makes good strategy games and unfortunately, strategy games are only good to play on a PC.
I don't see Xbox having a big future for foreign game developers, with the exception of a couple of multi-platform games that will be released on several machines (Soul Calibre 2, etc). Recent polls reveals the lack of interest in Japanese gamers and developers for the Xbox. I'm afraid Xbox's future lies with American game developers. UNLESS Microsoft is willing to shelve out a load of cash (which they have) to buy exclusive rights to certain titles (Shenmue II, for example, angered various Dreamcast owners). I am sure Mr. Gates will be able to afford that.
So, what you have is a nice bowl, with the same old crap in it. I'll give it to you that Xbox is the most powerful machine so far, and it has both the 3D processor speed of the PS2, and anti-aliasing ability of the Dreamcast, and all that techno-junkies. However, it is nothing but a piece of plastic without good games. It is so heavy, I can't even cover my instant noodles with it.
Don't get deceived by the Xbox. This thing has no future for real gamers. It is a techie eye-candy that will last for not over 2 or 3 months, and doorway to frustration after that.
I'm predicting a Harry Potter game for the Xbox in the next month or two.
P.S. Man, you pay $399 for this thing, and you need to pay EXTRA to be able to use the BUILT-IN DVD player to watch DVD? And if you want to reserve your Xbox, you need to pay $599 for an Xbox package? There are better way to deceive consumers than just robbing our money like this.
Why don't you charge an extra $10 to be able to turn on the power, an extra $20 to use the component cable, an extra $15 to listen to audio CD?
It's all about the money, all the Benjamins.
P.S.2. I am not an anti-Microsoft freak, I don't hate Microsoft, heck, I even worked for them for a brief time. But I stand by what I say, Xbox will fade away, after gamers get tired of its boring games that's coming up in the near future. After people gets tired of its power, and starting to realize how shallow they have been, and to realize what real gamers wants. It is games that are fun. Not games that are pretty.
Mark my words, you'll come back for more.
Recommended:
No
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Epinions.com ID:
labyrinth
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Member: Tzehuan Han
Reviews written: 45
Trusted by: 19 members
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